Letters to my Family on my 18th

When I turned 18 I thought it would be really nice to write letters to members of my family so they could keep them and look back on them someday. I find that kind of thing very special. I also wrote continuous letters for my best friend Katz and my ex boyfriend to read while I was away. Few things in this life compare to what you can get across by means of writing and words. We often forget that amoungst everything else in this life, we always, without a doubt, start and end with family.





Dear Mom



Before I began this letter, I contemplated going onto the internet and finding something sweet to put in here that would perhaps be enough to express my gratitude, love and respect for you.
Then I thought again, and realized that no poem, saying or extract off the internet or anywhere could ever be able to do that.

Mom, from the bottom of my heart I want to thank you for being the mother that you were when I was a toddler, a little girl, and a young lady. I want to thank you for being the mother you are today. I write this as I am 18 years old – my coming of age has been awesome because of you. You were there for me when I needed you most, when I was weak and cried because I thought I couldn’t cope with school, friends or boyfriends. But you made me realize that I could, that anything was possible. Every time I passed out it was your face I saw when I woke up. Your patience, support and love were the bridge that united my dreams with what became my reality. And because of that, I am where I am today.

It can’t be easy to see your daughter grow up and leave for a whole different country right under your nose. But instead of showing your emotions, you were supportive and encouraging through the past few months that are building up to my journey.

I know for a fact that you will be there with me through finals that start in a week, through the difficult times I may experience next year, through varsity and through the pregnancy of my first child (a long way away, promise!)

Because of your influence in my life, I aspire to be a mom like you. You shaped and modeled me from my first step, and let me figure out the obstacles in my path by myself. Instead of restricting the way I wanted to be shaped, you let me sculpt myself – and create my own style, and make my own choices. And even though I may have made the wrong ones at times, you allowed me to learn my lesson and not make the same mistake twice. (And yes, you are always right ;)

Now in contrast with the beginning of the letter, I do have one poem for you – but I didn’t get this off the internet. I have loved it ever since the day I got a poem of my own published, and the words have a lot of significance relating to next year, and the rest of my life…

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
ee cummings



Because of you I learnt that life is too short. That grudges are a waste of perfect happiness – to laugh always and only apologize only when I should. To let go of what I can’t change, to love deeply and forgive quickly. To take chances and give of everything (whether it was rowing, academics or anything I tried). To have no regrets. I learnt that life is too short to be unhappy – with your help I learnt to take the good with the bad. To love what I have, but always remember what I had. I learnt from my mistakes and realized that even though people will change and things go wrong – that everything will be okay in the end.
I am happy to say that with your help and love behind me every step of the way – I lived my first 18 years of my life with no regrets, and achieved things I never thought I could achieve without your guidance. And before I knew it, I was in Matric – writing you this letter, saying thank you, and telling you to remember that at any stage of next year that you may think things could not be any worse than they are…

I love you.



Becoming a grandparent is wonderful. One moment you're just a parent. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown

Dear Granny and Grandad

There comes a point in a teenager’s life when she realizes that she probably would not have been the young adult she is today if it weren’t for her grandparents. I am 18 as I write this to you, a little scary, knowing that my days of colouring in and puzzle building are over – and it is time to be brave, and enter the world with the same faith and wisdom that I see in both of you…

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani

{You both offered to me all the qualities Rudolph mentions, and I am pretty sure that it was those rice crispie, romany creams, ginger and jam biscuits that were the essence in my coming of age.}

We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence; my grandparents fulfilled that role. ~Phyllis Theroux

{You both loved me unconditionally, despite the times I may have disappointed – you pointed out my mistakes but never made me feel ashamed, and you both nurtured the way I grew up}

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret

{I can remember as if it were yesterday watching Grandad give horsey-rides to Greg over, and over, and over again. The endless supply of patience you both have is amazing – I can’t remember the amount of times I made Granny sit down and watch The Sound of Music, and yet- I am still not sick of it.}

Grandfathers are for loving and fixing things. ~Author Unknown
{The author unknown has to have been me – Grandad the amount of times I brought things to you, art projects, badges, chains or anything that required a little super glue, you never hesitated to help. That final art project was truly awesome}

A grandma's name is little less in love than is the doting title of a mother. ~William Shakespeare

{I always knew Shakespeare was a genius. Gran, if I had to think of someone who cared for me as much as my mom does it would definitely be you. The only difference between you and mom is that you live under a different roof and cook supper for us}

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap. ~Doug Larson

I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture. ~Susan Strasberg

{The thing I remember most about coming to your house in Witbank when I was small – besides the toast that was cut into 4 squares and the biscuits and beds that looked like elves had made them- was the fact that I could fight with Greg who was sitting next to who to watch TV in your bedroom. I remember every bit of that house; the stoop and complimentary jacuzzi, the small but homey kitchen, the two lounges, one of which was where Father Christmas paid a visit every year… I could go on forever. That house made up a huge part of my childhood, thank you for making it a beautiful memory}

Thank you so much for being the two people that you are. It was because you allowed me to see, hear and feel what you have to give – that I became the positive and enthusiastic person I am now as an 18 year old. The quote right at the top of the letter is so apt to you both – perhaps not prehistoric – because your personalities combined definitely don’t make you seem old, but definitely wise. I was always ready for a witty story from Gran, and I was always willing to listen to Grandad’s opinion. You both may be getting silver in your hair, but it’s the gold in your hearts that is more visible.

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown

{It seems silly to compare you to a piece of string, but I can assure you that the ‘piece of string’ you both gave me will never get old, tatty, or useless. It is that piece of string that I will carry with me forever.}

You may have held my tiny hand for just a little while, but you will both hold my heart forever It is truly in your history that I will shape my future. Your love, thoughtfulness and interminable compassion made me realize how important it was to never take people for granted and always let others know how you’re feeling.

Thank you for everything
I love you
Robz

Dear Dad



I find it difficult to begin a letter to such a remarkable person. I sit here, 18 years old, and think back on my first 18 years of my life. About to go out into the world, I am so happy to say that I learnt a great deal from my father.

You were my daddy and I was your little girl from the moment I learnt to walk. I always thought you were so awesome because you were so fit and ran every day. When you had your accident I thought of you way more than just awesome. Even though I was young – it was your accident that made me mature so much faster than my peers. But it was not the accident that taught me the true values of life, but rather the way you got through it, and your attitude throughout it all.

I was more than proud to do some of your speech with you in Grade 7 and there was not one moment in my life that I was not proud to have someone like you as a father.
Dad you taught me to be stronger than the pressure, to have a good attitude, to have hope. To be positive, to smile. But most of all – to never give up.

By watching you stride from strength to strength, and running the Comrades again and again after your accident – I looked at my own life, and grew myself.

It soon became easier to be positive – and to look on the bright side of things. Because of your inspiration in my life – I learnt how to actually move the obstacles in my life path out of my way, instead of struggling to find ways to step over them. And for that – I want to thank you.

I love you, and will always be your little girl,
Robynne

Dear Greg,



There was once some very clever guy that said when a brother and a sister grow up and realize that they are related, (and there is nothing you can do about it ;) – they will soon become much more than siblings. They become friends.

Gregi my bokkie, this is a letter to keep as a reminder through the whole of next year when I am away, and for the rest of your life. Now that I have eaten the first little slice of my cake of life (aka: high school) I have a number of tips to give you on how to eat your cake – because you can’t go through the next4 years by just gobbling it down. You have to actually taste it.

Don’t just do your homework, but do it the day you get it (once you get older you don’t want to wake up on a Sunday morning knowing you have homework when you could have had it done before the party on Saturday night…)
Put effort into things – if work looks nice, teachers will know you work hard.
Don’t have grudges – they’re a waste of perfect happiness and you are just making things harder for yourself.
Laugh as often as you can, and at whatever you like.

Only apologize when you have to apologize. But forgive quickly. Don’t feel hate for anyone or anything.
Let go of things you can’t change, but if you know you can make a difference – don’t hesitate to change things.
Take chances! You will never know if something is a good idea until you try.

High school goes by very quickly – make sure you make the most of every moment.
Learn to take the good with the bad – don’t be negative about anything, no matter how hard it may seem or how impossible people make it out to be.
Appreciate the things you have. Don’t try change things beyond your control.
***Never give up***
To thine own self be true (aka: be yourself, don’t change for others. Shakespeare was a genius)
Watch friends – it makes all things better.
And have fun. Smile  Laugh  and cry. But always know that in the end – everything will be okay!



Read this whenever you are in doubt gregi – I am talking from experience. If you remember these little ‘slices’ of life – you will live an AwEsOmE life, and before you know it, your first slice will be gone, and it will be your turn to go out into the world

I love you my angel.
Your big sister, and friend –
Robz
{Ps, the whole cake metaphor is always good for a creative essay it should impress the teachers} YOU ARE SUPERMAN!

“In High School, you might as well take as big a bite out of every experience and choke on it, rather than take small bites and never be fully satisfied!”

Dear Megan,



This is a special letter that I’m giving you now at the beginning of your Matric YearIt’s nothing serious but its small bits of advice from your older cousin, and remember to read it whenever things get really hard, because they will… But also read it whenever you’re in the best mood ever – because you will have lots of those days too I wrote this extract when I was 16, which is weird because I didn’t really understand it myself then, but as I read it now – I understand every bit of it. I hope you do too.

“EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Failure, success, illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your heart. Without these small tests – life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart – forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being careful of who you open your heart to. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Hold onto people that make you happy, and are always happy for you.

Make every day count, from the beginning of this year to the last day of your life. Appreciate every moment. Talk to people you have never spoken to before, and actually listen. Be yourself. Hold your head up high because you have every right to. Throughout your High School years keep telling yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself.

You can make this year and all the years to come anything you wish. But most importantly – have fun. The year will go by very quickly, and you will want to look back on it knowing you have laughed till your stomach hurts and did not take anything or anyone for granted.”

Megi, I hope you have the coolest Matric year and you tell me everything that happens during it. I’m not going to say goodbye… but I am going to say that I will miss you so much, and I’ll see you in a year By that time I’ll be able to take you out. YAY! :)

Love always,
Robynne