W i d e O p e n S p a c e s

I hears this song for the first time when I was in Berlin at a kareoke club. All my new aussie friends were singing it and as I sat there listening to the words and singing along - kareoke - I fell in love with the song. the lyrics are perfect for what I have felt this year, and what I have experienced too. I think this is what life should be about for everyone. And even though my year has almost reached it's end - life has only just begun. Coming here, getting away from home, living it up on my own, growing and learning.. the dixie chicks have really got it right on spot here. :)

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about
Who's never left home, who's never struck out
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone

Many precede and many will follow
A young girl's dream no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west
But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed

She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes

She traveled this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning, she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons, she'll take this test

She knows the high stakes

As her folks drive away, her dad yells, "Check the oil!"
Mom stares out the window and says, "I'm leaving my girl"
She said, "It didn't seem like that long ago"
When she stood there and let her own folks know

She needed Wide open spaces - -

What to do in this life. Simple.

Seek excitement
Seek enlightenment,
Seek Adventure...

Find your big big love,
but no rush.
Don't forget to stay curious
but always be cautious

Learn from the past
but always go forward..
Know that the majority is not always right -
and neither are you

Chase greatness,
but don't pressure yourself

Know when to fight and when to run -
Stand for what you believe in,
but never walk over the beliefs of others

March boldly into love
But tread lightly with the hearts of others

Try to be kind
Try to be happy
Try to leave something behind when you're gone

And remember its the choices you make today,
that shape your tomorrow

So put your best foot forward

I have come to Realise

YES! I am back. I just did a bit more travelling around the UK - figured it is my last chance to see as much as I can before I go home (7weeks!!!!!) So I saw Cardiff, london (ily london!<3) EDINBURGH(very very cool place), durham and manchester :)



Not bad I don't think, but will write all about it in more detail when I start my actual blog about 2009ine. But for now, to fill up the space - a note I came across on facebook recently - quite a nice one I think. These are the answers I gave;

1. I've come to realise that my chest size... is probably never going to get any bigger.

2. I've come to realise that my job...may be boring and challenging at times, but it pays and iv heard of worse.

3. I've come to realise that when I'm driving...there has to be music on for me to sing to :)

4. I've come to realise that I need... to get over my post Topdeck/summer depression.

5. I've come to realise that I miss... Rose like mad.

6. I've come to realise that I hate it when... people are lazeeeeeeeey

7. I've come to realise that if I'm drunk... the dancing never ends.

8. I've come to realise that money...doesnt grow on trees. simple, but true.

9. I've come to realise that certain people... come into your life for a reason.

10. I've come to realise the person I like... may be a little too shy for me.

11. I've come to realise that my mom... is amazing. but ive known that forever. <3

12. I've come to realise that my dad... has the most will power and self motivation i have ever seen in anybody i have ever met. he is fantastic.

13. I've come to realise that I'll always... live the moment up!

14. I've come to realise that my mobile... is quite old, but still handy.

15. I've come to realise that when I woke up this morning... i had 50 magazines to put together by 10am.

16. I've come to realise that last night before I went to sleep... that it was the first time i got to bed before 10 in a week.

17. I've come to realise that right now I am thinking... that i resent going to that circuits class last night.

18. I've come to realise that my life ... is one big experience after the other, and im really lucky. <3:)

19. I've come to realise that when I get on Facebook... i always learn something new about someone.

20. I've come to realise that today... was hotter than i thought it would be. yeeees

21. I've come to realise that tonight... 's gonna be a good night.! nahah gotta write that article.

22. I've come to realise that tomorrow... is wednesday, afternoon off and gonna get those shoesssss

23. I've come to realise that I really want to... just hug my friends and family.

24. I've come to realise that my ex... is a great guy. but knew that too
25. I've come to realise that the excitement i'm feeling… is for the weekend to begin-in-in-in..*

26. I've come to realise that life... is what u make of it :)

27. I've come to realise that this weekend… will be grand if i get to see that soccerrrr match :)

28. I've come to realise that my friends... are all made of gold.

29. I've come to realise that this year... was the best decision i have ever made.

30. I've come to realise that maybe I should... have pizza for dinner tonight instead of those veggies downstairs?

31. I've come to realise that I don't understand... why they put a huge porta-loo looking classroom in the middle of canfords courtyard??

32. I've come to realise my past... has definitely made me who i am.

33. I've come to realise that parties... are quality :D

34. I've come to realise that I'm totally terrified... of facing teh fact that i will have to give birth one day. aaaaahhhhhhh!!

35. I've come to realise that the last person I kissed passionately... is now in australia.

36. I've come to realise that my best friend... gets me better than anyone else. and makes me laugh until it hurts :)

37. I've come to realise that this time next year...i will be a year older! haha i will hopefully have past 1st year journ.

38. I've come to realise that my life... has only just begun :)

YEA and I finished that article on the train too!W>
Todays song, just because its on right now; Change, Daniel Merriweather/Wale - good tune, piano in backround is catchy. the lyrics aren't very positive though but still - for what its worth -

"i saw a dried up withered old rich man turning on a garden hose,
i see a young man picking up a gun i guess that's where the money goes yeah,
am i just as good as a bad man sleeping when the rest are dying
or am i just as bad as a good man saying there's no use of trying

Oooo tell me do you still believe
Oooo everything that you read
will we learn to get together and see who we really are

ain't nothing gonna change
ain't nothing gonna change if nobody's gonna wake up and start acting whose incharge..."

i suppose that last line is good -
we gotta act if we want change yes. agrred? Agreed.

Forgiveness

In my life I have done countless silly and stupid things. I regret nothing - because each one has taught me one more thing about myself. But I have learnt from the wrongs, and believe tht each time each mistake has taught me to do right in the future. And with learning about myself, each time I learn slowly how to forgive myself too. I think all of us have the power within to forgive. I think all of us make mistakes; big or small. But no matter how big, or how small, forgiveness is always an option. I can't put it any better than these four men have really.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. - Martin Luther King

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - Ghandi

The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions. - Socrates



The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves. -Eric Hoffer

I think with forgiveness, comes serenity, happiness, and being content with yourself.

My Rollarcoaster

I wish I could say I wrote these words myself, because I love them and if I had to write a song called My Rollarcoaster I would write this; I lsiten to it when I feel lost and just listen to it in general quite a lot. If I had to choose a soundtrack to my life this would be at the top. quirky :) ...

you were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday
it seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane
what is it about you that has commandeered my brain?
maybe it's your awesome songs or maybe it's the way

when I look at your face I can tell that you're not going to be stopping soon or even slowing down
and if we keep up this pace pretty soon we'll know the name of every kid and every grown up booking house shows in their town

and if home is really where the heart is
then we're the smartest kids I know
because wherever we are in this great big world
we'll never be more than a few hours from home

and that's important because I need to travel
I've had this itchin in my shoes since I was just a little kid
and before I had a mini van I road the Greyhound bus
my mom would say "I hope some day you get paid for being *Robynne Peatfield :)"

and now I do and it's not much
but it's enough
I've got my Scrabble game, food on my plate, good friends and family
and now there's you understanding why I do the things I do
knowin that you do them too makes me really happy

on the road again
just can't wait to get on the road again
the life I love is makin' music with my friends
and I can't wait to get on the road again
on the road again
just can't wait to get on the road again
the life I love is makin' music with my friends
and I can't wait to get on the road again

from a distance, the world looks blue and green
and the snow capped mountains white
from a distance, the ocean meets the stream
and the eagle takes to flight

do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be do do do do do do
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

'cause I like going for hikes and riding bikes
and playing video games in the middle of the night
and I'll stay up late and I wont even care
that we're getting up early to go to the state fair
I'm gonna ride the biggest ride it'll be out of sight
then I'll share an elephant ear with you if you'd like
because we are alive so we've gotta live life
to the fullest you spin the bottle and I'll dim the lights
four five six seven minutes in the closet

you were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday
it seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane
what is it about you that has commandeered my brain?
maybe it's your awesome songs or maybe it's the way
you go straight to the top you're not scared of getting squashed
you know just when to jump off
you're so brave

and then you run to the right it seems there's no hope in sight
and you drop down to the tube that takes you right to level eight

life is a highway and I'm gonna ride it
every day's a winding road yeah
my rollercoaster's got the biggest ups and downs
as long as it keeps goin' round its unbelievable

life is a highway and I'm gonna ride it
every day's a winding road yeah
my rollercoaster's got the biggest ups and downs
as long as it keeps goin' round its unbelievable :)

ILY Kimya Dawson

`What you share with the world is what it keeps of you`

I watched the Pursuit of happiness last night. I have seen it before but this time it made me think a bit more than usual. See I really am loving my gap year, but my work gets little repetitive sometimes. I help in 2 subjects a day, today I did art and music. now that would at first glance sound fun. but its not really. I photocopy and tidy and file and sort. Its enthralling. But see, its complaining and being sarcastic like that, thats what made me think . Now normally I am a generally happy person and positive about th things i do and thing that happen. Haha but sometimes i do complain. who doesnt? anyway, what Im really trying to say is im very lucky, and from now on i will try sound mildly more happier abot my job. :)

came across the brilliance of noah and the whale recently too, and apart from 5years time ,luuurrrvvvvly song, this is also a favourite;

Well I know my death will not come
'Til I breathe all the air out my lungs
'Til my final tune is sung
That all is fleeting
Yeah, but all is good
And my love is my whole being
And I've shared what I could
But if you give a little love, you can get a little love of your own
Don't break his heart
Yeah if you give a little love, you can get a little love of your own
Don't break his heart

Well my heart is bigger than the earth
And though life is what gave it love first
Life is not all that it's worth
'Cause life is fleeting
Yeah, but I love you
And my love surrounds you like an ether
In everything that you do
But if you give a little love, you can get a little love of your own

Well if you are (what you love)
And you do (what you love)
I will always be the sun and moon to you
And if you share (with your heart)
Yeah, you give (with your heart)

What you share with the world is what it keeps of you

Rolling on

Just realised I definitly should have started this earlier on in the year.

Booo. Oh well, never too late.

But if I could have started it earlier I would have told tales of how scared I really was to leave home for a year at 18 - an how I pretended I wasn't. But also of how excited I was. And ready.

Been working at Canford School in Dorset, UK since Jan of this year, I coached Rowing in the freeeeezing cold - but it wasn't too bad. Coaching is very different to actually taking part,which I miss a lot.

I made new friends, I have been working at a pub, I have travelled a lot, I have put up with lazy but lovely teenage girls really, I have bought my own groceries, beenthrough tough times, but have threaded out the most brilliant memories on a very warm and bright quilt - but I have now realised after these past 9 months of being lucky enough to travel and experience independence like I have {thank you mom and dad} - that there is more, isn't there?

I want to see more, and do more. I want to work with people all over the world - I want to help people and experience their lives with them. I read once that there are no foreign countries an lands, the only thing foreign is the traveller. Agreed. I want that - I want to be the foreign taveller in my life - living and seeing things with my own eyes.

I am busy working on an article for Canford's school magazine. Having a bit, okay no - scratch that, a LOT of writer's block. Haha it has been a while since I have actually sat down and written something. But it will come. I'll probably put it up here.

And soon enough, when another day in dorset passes by and I find myself sitting in my flat watching yet another episode of friends - I will start posting bits ad bobs from the way-overdue gap year blog. It will be wild and expressive :)

**Sittin' here alone I'm lookin' back on where I've roamed

And laughing how I swore I'd win and not get burned
Left my family
Left my home
I worked my fingers to the bone
And there was not a stone I did not leave unturned

And I was havin' a good time
Roll on Roll on Roller Coaster
 We're one day older and one step closer
Roll on there's mountains to climb

Roll on we're on borrowed time
Roll on Roller coaster
Roll on tonight
Roll on tonight yeah

** Roll On by KidRock - reminds me of Mom <3

The First~

OOhhh The first blog yes yes, i could get used to this. I think every post should have a song or a photo or something. Really can't believe my gap year is almost over ..i started in Jan - and mom is counting the sleeps till im home. not long left now is there?

Better live it up then - And start scrapbooking in this strange sort of technological way -

before i lose all my photos or something.

readyyy? yes please :)

I'm on the rocky road Heading down off the mountain slope A

nd as my steps echo echo, louder than before

Another day is done, say goodbye to the setting sun

See what i found, Turn back to the ground Just like before

And Hey hey hey hey hey hey Hey beautiful day, hey beautiful day

Hey hey hey hey Hey beautiful day, hey beautiful day

When the night feels my soul

I'll be home, I'll be home

Into the undergrowth, Twist and turn on a lonely road

In the twilight the day turns to night

And i'm alone And when the light has left

I'm not sure of my every step

Follow the wind that pushes me west

Back to my bed

And Hey hey hey hey hey hey

Hey beautiful day, hey beautiful day

Hey hey hey hey Hey beautiful day,

hey beautiful day

When the night feels my soul

I'll be home, I'll be home * <3

*When the night fills my soul by the Bedouin Soundclash,

Reason i know the song - Emma Abreu :)